Honkable Hilarity

12:57:25 AM Jack: you see that? [on facebook rsvp list]

12:57:27 AM Jack: Jacka says maybe

12:57:31 AM Me: lol

12:57:31 AM Jack: haven’t talked to this chick in years

12:57:33 AM Me: yeah

12:57:37 AM Jack: if she shows up

12:57:42 AM Jack: i’d be in ultra shock

12:57:50 AM Me: and then JackGirl2 shows up too

12:57:50 AM Jack: i dont see why ppl put maybe

12:57:52 AM Jack: they all no’s anyway

12:57:57 AM Me: and both JackGirls 3-4 show up too

12:58:00 AM Jack: she put no

12:58:02 AM Me: man you’ll need more than 2 laps

12:58:05 AM Jack: LOL

(12:05:21) Me: this Thinkpad came with the worst tools on the planet
(12:05:27) Me: everything IBM/Lenovo software wise is so shitty
(12:05:35) Me: some high school kid could do wayyyyyy better
(12:05:46) Jack: lol!
(12:05:49) Me: when I first got it, there were about 70000 utilities running
(12:05:51) Me: battery check
(12:05:53) Me: wireless check
(12:05:56) Me: heat check
(12:05:58) Me: hdd check
(12:06:03) Jack: hahahah
(12:06:17) Me: software update
(12:06:19) Me: man!
(12:06:30) Jack: ppl love their utitlities!!
(12:06:31) Jack: clearly
(12:09:50) Me: I still have many running
(12:09:54) Me: volume display
(12:09:58) Me: wireless display
(12:10:05) Me: switch display (for projectors)
(12:10:11) Me: everything works 50% of the time
(12:10:28) Me: seriously messed up
(12:10:38) Me: this is an issue with _all_ windblows laptops
(12:10:48) Me: the OS has enough, but OEMs think they can do better
(12:10:54) Me: and write software to do everything
(12:11:45) Jack: its true
(12:11:50) Jack: its overload
(12:11:55) Jack: just use wahts there
(12:12:00) Jack: bah….
(12:14:38) Me: apple > *

(14:53:38) Me: wow
(14:53:42) Me: some random dude just called me
(14:53:51) Me: “I want to talk to someone in customer service”
(14:53:59) Jack: LOL
(14:54:03) Jack: that’s you
(14:54:04) Me: he dialed some 1-800 number and it came directly to me?!
(14:54:08) Me: so weird
(14:54:16) Me: I’m like… “try back, try another number”…. he simply won’t agree
(14:54:29) Me: he’s like “are you alone in the office? if not, can you transfer me to ANYONE else”
(14:54:32) Me: pushy
(14:54:38) Me: I should’ve forwarded it to my coworker
(14:55:39) Jack: LOL
(14:55:41) Jack: priceless
(14:55:46) Jack: that woulda rocked
(14:56:27) Me: ….oh yeah
(14:56:33) Me: I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing though
(14:56:35) Me: he’d know what’s up
(14:56:46) Me: anyway, got some number for support
(14:56:53) Me: and transferred it
(14:57:02) Me: now I’ll memorize the extension for future disasters
(14:57:35) Jack: prolly once in a million shot
(14:57:40) Jack: i wouldnt expect more callz
(14:58:29) Me: true
(14:58:32) Me: but woiw
(14:58:36) Me: I’ve had a few wrong numbers here
(14:58:40) Me: they recycle the extensions
(14:58:57) Jack: any hot ladies ?
(14:59:03) Jack: voice………wize
(14:59:39) Me: no not really
(14:59:48) Me: this sounded like a really depressed dude

(11:23:28) Me: if she ever gets the slightest hint you been thinking about her all week, worried
(11:23:40) Me: she’s gonna run in the other direction faster than running away from a hungry lion strapped to dynamite
(11:23:45) Jack: hahhaah
(11:23:48) Me: faster than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck
(11:24:04) Me: …on the highway

(10:01:07) Jack: she has minimum 2 friends that are good
(10:02:04) Me: I’ll take them both
(10:04:55) Jack: exactly!
(10:05:08) Jack: seriously the one blondie with curly hair, I’m sure u woulda licked
(10:05:10) Jack: LOL
(10:05:11) Jack: liked*
(10:05:12) Jack: hahah
(10:05:28) Me: freudian slip
(10:05:29) Jack: o god , best ever freudian slip
(10:05:37) Me: licked and liked
(10:05:39) Me: liked and licked
(10:05:42) Me: rap song time
(10:05:50) Me: it’s a shady Monday mornin’
(10:05:57) Me: and I been liking and I been licking
(10:06:01) Me: phone numbas!
(10:06:10) Jack: hahah
(10:06:12) Jack: fuck ddue
(10:06:16) Jack: im cracking up here [at work]
(10:06:26) Jack: while everyone is pissed hahah
(10:07:48) Me: …is what I do
(10:07:50) Me: aight man
(10:07:52) Me: help me out here
(10:07:58) Me: let’s make a CRAP song
(10:08:33) Jack: LOL
(10:08:36) Jack: hahaha
(10:09:00) Jack: I been liking and I been licking…….I been liking and I been licking
phone numbas……..I been liking and I been licking phone numbas
(10:31:35) Me: my buddy got a numba; but he ain’t a playa; w-t-f.
my buddy got a numba; but he ain’t gonna call har; w-t-f
(10:31:36) Me: …
(10:31:41) Me: I can make millions

(12:14:44) Curtis: ya, you could very well meet someone in a work environment
(12:15:01) Me: … as long as they’re not in IT
(12:15:23) Me: for whatever reason, the end result of girls and engineering is rarely a female engineer
(12:15:32) Me: it’s usually …. an engineer, with some gender confusion

12:15:02 AM Me: 15 euros for prostitute in amsterdam

12:15:05 AM Me: more in other cities

12:15:06 AM Me: paris, etc.

12:15:10 AM Me: but that’s awesome, affordable sex

12:15:11 AM Jack: ya

12:15:14 AM Me: not like here

12:15:17 AM Jack: lol!

12:15:18 AM Me: 200/ hour

12:15:20 AM Me: retardenesssss

12:15:24 AM Me: and so discrete

12:15:24 AM Jack: for real? :p

12:15:26 AM Me: hush hush

12:15:33 AM Me: yeah ugly girl 150 / hour

12:15:37 AM Me: good girl 200 / hour

12:15:40 AM Me: hot girl 250 / hour

12:15:48 AM Me: some offer half hour

12:15:50 AM Me: no student discount

12:15:56 AM Jack: LOL

12:16:22 AM Jack: i wanna ask how u konw this……but at the same time i dont

12:16:28 AM Me: it’s all info man

12:16:37 AM Jack: UH HUH

12:16:36 AM Me: transvestites the cheapest

12:16:38 AM Me: 100 / hour

12:16:41 AM Jack: LOLLLLLLLLLLLL

12:16:43 AM Me: lol

12:16:59 AM Jack: great to hear!

12:17:15 AM Me: dunno about montreal pricing though

4:45:38 PM Me: i’ll be the first person on facebook to post a pic of grandmother

4:46:16 PM Jack: LOL

4:46:29 PM Jack: probably

4:46:43 PM Jack: than the ladies will love u

4:46:49 PM Jack: showing u care about family

4:46:57 PM Jack: u will start a revolution

4:49:49 PM Me: of course